What To Go As?

My friend's son is turning 5 and he's decided that all of his birthday parties (and all parties in general) should include costumes. The party itself is a superhero one, so I've been thinking of what kind of costume I could wear.

I'd love to do Harley Quinn,  but then comes all of my insecurities with my body and the types of costumes she wears. I think this tends to be the same with most of the female heroes and villains. And I'm too insecure to say "fuck it!" and do it anyway.

I do have my own superhero story I've been wanting to get out there, but haven't yet decided how I want to do that. And even if I wore that costume (which is totally possible because I have a corset that would work, no one would get it anyway.)

I suppose it's also possible to gender bend, but with moving I'm not actually sure how much time I would have to try and make my own.

Costumes + Insecurities = Difficult.

A Travesty!

So, a huge argument has erupted in my home! We are watching Back To The Future, and my husband commented that I would never be able to have the time machine because I don't know how to drive stick shift.

Ellie, my best friend and roommate, said that if you have the money for a DeLorean, then surely you have the money to turn it into an automatic!

Asher says this is a travesty, and that Nerds and Geeks across the world would curse me for doing that to the DeLorean!

So, tell me guys. Is this a travesty, or completely okay?

Conflicts in Gaming

As with any social activity, I've found that conflicts arise not just in game, but out of game too. Whenever you put a group of people together, eventually they are going to butt heads, especially if they are very different (or in some cases just too much alike).

Of course, a game stops being fun when people start taking resentments out on others in game. It ruins the game for the rest of the people and it ruins it for the GM.

One thing I found about myself was that, while I was perfectly willing to admit my characters' faults, I did not like people calling them horrible people. My characters are very much an extension of myself, and so for me, to call my characters that, you are calling me that as well.

In one particular case, I get the feeling the actual player did have that opinion of me. Sometimes people just clash, I've decided.

My advice would be to talk to the player on your own time, away from the game. The best way to deal with a problem, in my opinion, is to face it head on or else resentments, anger, and the issues are only going to get worse.

In my case, I had to come to the decision that the person wasn't really a friend, so I needed to take their criticisms with a grain of salt. So I could play with them, but I wasn't too invested in the relationship anymore.

As a GM, I talk to the person when there is an issue, and if we can't work it out, then I ask them tactfully to walk away from the game. You can't GM for someone who doesn't respect you.

And then sometimes you just need to block their asses.

Just some thoughts on that. Happy gaming!

No! Where are you taking my games!!

I keep trying to write my blog post but end up getting interrupted by the insanity of boxes! Boxes, boxes everywhere! Yes still not enough boxes! Though I am drowning in them!

What does all of this insanity mean?

First house!

So I am taking great care to make sure my crafts and games are gently boxed up and stored so that they will be safe in the transition.

We don't move until Sept. 14, but there is so much to do and get done before then and I want to get everything organized and get rid of all of the clutter that we don't need because MOAR SPACE!

I will most likely finish the next blog post in time to post this weekend, but after that I'm not sure when I will get the chance to.

Stay tuned!

*My* Issue With MMORPGs

I speak this time not as someone with Social Anxiety Disorder, but as someone who is disabled due in part to some physical conditions (Fibromyalgia, Migraines) and this can make every day life difficult, let alone computer gaming.

I played a hunter in World of Warcraft. I think by the time I quit, she was a level 71 or 72. It was right after Wrath of the Lich King came out. When I had started playing, both my brother and my daddy played the game and I was excited to play with them.

But drama galore in that guild, so my ex (who I was engaged to at the time) and I joined another guild. I loved this guild. It was filled with so many funny, kind, smart, witty, caring people.

And we had a lot of fun in the dungeons and running around doing stuff, but then we got up to the levels where it was time for the raids, and we couldn't do it because we just didn't have enough people.

So we had 2 options: join a larger guild or recruit.

We chose option 2, but still weren't having enough people on when we needed, and some of the recruits got so pissed if we weren't right there doing everything for them.

So I told them to go ahead and find a larger guild to join. I knew I wouldn't be able to go with them. Why? Because larger guilds, the good guilds, the "top" guilds, would not want a guild member that might have to leave because they are sick. If I didn't have the best armor, they didn't want me. And how could I get the best armor if it was going to result in my health being hurt?

Now let me guess, some of you are thinking: So don't play.

Or: Only play the small stuff.

It just feels sometimes that that option is so unfair. I'm ill, so what am I doing wasting my time with MMORPGs? It's not like I can do all of the end game stuff so it's pointless! Too bad that I wanted to play with my family!

This was the decision my mom had to choose. She quit WoW because she couldn't sit up at the computer anymore, and I know she was upset because it meant losing some of that time, time she enjoyed, with us. And she can't try out new games with Daddy at all now.

Sometimes I wish they had things that were just as worth doing that won't take 5 hours of my time. I wish that there were ways guilds could do well without having to recruit members that are assholes or want the leaders to do everything for them.

It sucks that illness already gets to take so much from me.

What tabletop gaming is to me

Writing to me has always been about the characters. Yes, the story is very important, the plot is a big deal, but without the characters, there is no story! To me, my art is about telling those characters' stories. And gaming is no different.

When I make a character for a campaign, I'm setting up the beginning of their story. And as with the characters of my stories, I am constantly figuring out my gaming characters throughout the week. I'm always thinking of how they would react to certain issues and why. The why is one of the most important parts to me.

I don't think anyone could ever say I don't have well fleshed out characters. I get into the minds, think about how they would feel about certain things, how they react to people and situations.

Gaming, for me, is being able to get lost in these stories for a couple of hours, and that's a great thing sometimes when my life gets to the point I'm not wanting to even be part of it. It's an escape.

And it's about friends. People who, without the game, you might never have met.

And finally, it's about laughter, one of the best medicines on the planet.

That is gaming to me.

As always, we start at the beginning

Who am I and why should you care?

My name is Emi. I'm 26, female, and a geek/nerd! I am a writer, and now currently a game designer! I work on mostly tabletop RPGs, but that might change in the future. You never really know. ;)

As to why you should care about this blog or about me, no I'm not famous and I'm probably not the most interesting person in the world, but I do feel I have a very unique perspective as a gamer.

I've lived my entire life with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), and it definitely makes gaming harder than I imagine it is for others. I put much more thought into my actions as a player, and as a GM, because of this constant fear of doing something wrong, despite the fact that I know that doesn't matter so much.

If nothing else, gaming can be interesting when you have SAD, and I don't think this topic is brought up a lot.

What is this blog about?

I'm keeping this open to all forms of geekery: comics, gaming, science, and more.

I have regular tabletop games every weekend, so I plan to talk about that; what it's like, my musings on the games and plots, and my ideas.

My mom studied astrophysics and works on satellites when I was young, so I like to watch what is going on in the science world, especially in space. Let it be known now: Pluto was always a planet in my heart, so in that respect, NASA can suck it.

I don't get the chance to read as many comics as I used to, but I do watch the movies, and I'm deep into books and the shows that go along with them.

I also appreciate all that is forensic science and psychology.

So, to sum this up, it's a great big mishmash of geekery, which is how my world is anyway!

When will it be updated?

Most of my games fall on the weekends, so I thought that would be a good time to do my main updates, though I do reserve the right to update with funny things throughout the week.

Welcome to my madness.